Then Almitra spoke, saying, 'We would ask now of Death.'
And he said:
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
Khalil Gibran
Sunday, 30 May 2010
On Death
The Seven Selves
First Self: Here, in this madman, I have dwelt all these years, with naught to do but renew his pain by day and recreate his sorrow by night. I can bear my fate no longer, and now I rebel.
Second Self: Yours is a better lot than mine, brother, for it is given to me to be this madman's joyous self. I laugh his laughter and sing his happy hours, and with thrice winged feet I dance his brighter thoughts. It is I that would rebel against my weary existence.
Third Self: And what of me, the love-ridden self, the flaming brand of wild passion and fantastic desires? It is I the love-sick self who would rebel against this madman.
Fourth Self: I, amongst you all, am the most miserable, for naught was given me but odious hatred and destructive loathing. It is I, the tempest-like self, the one born in the black caves of Hell, who would protest against serving this madman.
Fifth Self: Nay, it is I, the thinking self, the fanciful self, the self of hunger and thirst, the one doomed to wander without rest in search of unknown things and things not yet created; it is I, not you, who would rebel.
Sixth Self: And I, the working self, the pitiful labourer, who, with patient hands, and longing eyes, fashion the days into images and give the formless elements new and eternal forms-it is I, the solitary one, who would rebel against this restless madman.
Seventh Self: How strange that you all would rebel against this man, because each and every one of you has a preordained fate to fulfil. Ah! could I but be like one of you, a self with a determined lot! But I have none, I am the do-nothing self, the one who sits in the dumb, empty nowhere and nowhen, while you are busy re-creating life. Is it you or I, neighbours, who should rebel?
When the seventh self thus spake the other six selves looked with pity upon him but said nothing more; and as the night grew deeper one after the other went to sleep enfolded with a new and happy submission.
But the seventh self remained watching and gazing at nothingness, which is behind all things.
Khalil Gibran
A Tear And A Smile
I would not exchange the sorrows of my heart
For the joys of the multitude.
And I would not have the tears that sadness makes
To flow from my every part turn into laughter.
I would that my life remain a tear and a smile.
A tear to purify my heart and give me understanding
Of life's secrets and hidden things.
A smile to draw me nigh to the sons of my kind and
To be a symbol of my glorification of the gods.
A tear to unite me with those of broken heart;
A smile to be a sign of my joy in existence.
I would rather that I died in yearning and longing than that I live Weary and despairing.
I want the hunger for love and beauty to be in the
Depths of my spirit,for I have seen those who are
Satisfied the most wretched of people.
I have heard the sigh of those in yearning and Longing, and it is sweeter than the sweetest melody.
With evening's coming the flower folds her petals
And sleeps, embracingher longing.
At morning's approach she opens her lips to meet
The sun's kiss.
The life of a flower is longing and fulfilment.
A tear and a smile.
The waters of the sea become vapor and rise and come
Together and area cloud.
And the cloud floats above the hills and valleys
Until it meets the gentle breeze, then falls weeping
To the fields and joins with brooks and rivers to Return to the sea, its home.
The life of clouds is a parting and a meeting.
A tear and a smile.
And so does the spirit become separated from
The greater spirit to move in the world of matter
And pass as a cloud over the mountain of sorrow
And the plains of joy to meet the breeze of death
And return whence it came.
To the ocean of Love and Beauty----to God.
Khalil Gibran
A Visit From Wisdom
In the stillness of night Wisdom came and stood
By my bed. She gazed upon me like a tender mother
And wiped away my tears, and said : 'I have heard
The cry of your spirit and I am come to comfort it.
Open your heart to me and I shall fill it with light.
Ask of me and I shall show you the way of truth.'
And I said : 'Who am I, Wisdom, and how came
I to this frightening place? What manner of things
Are these mighty hopes and these many books and
Strange patterns ? What are these thoughts that pass
As doves in flight? And these words composed by
Desire and sung by delight, what are they? What are
These conclusions, grievous and joyous, that embrace
My spirit and envelop my heart? And those
Eyes which look at me seeing into my depths and
Fleeing from my sorrows ? And those voices mourning
My days and chanting my littleness, what are they ?
'What is this youth that plays with my desires
And mocks at my longings, forgetful of yesterday's
Deeds, rejoicing in paltry things of the moment,
Scornful of the morrow's coming?
'What is this world that leads me whither I know
Not, standing with me in despising? And this earth
That opens wide its mouth to swallow bodies and
Lets evil things to dwell on its breast? What is this
Creature that is satisfied with the love of fortune,
Whilst beyond its union is the pit? Who seeks Life's
Kiss whilst Death does smite him, and brings the
Pleasure of a minute with a year of repentance, and
Gives himself to slumber the while dreams call him?
What is he who flows with the rivers of folly to the
Sea of darkness? O Wisdom, what manner of things
Are these?'
And she answered, saying :
'You would see, human creature, this world
Through the eyes of a god. And you would seek to
Know the secrets of the hereafter with the thinking
Of men. Yet in truth is this the height of folly.
'Go you to the wild places and you shall find
There the bee above the flowers and behold the eagle
Swooping down on his prey. Go you into your neighbor's
House and see then the child blinking at the
Firelight and his mother busied at her household
Tasks. Be you like the bee and spend not the days of
Spring looking on the eagle's doing. Be as the child
And rejoice in the firelight and heed not your Mother's affairs. All that you see with your eyes was And is for your sake.
'The many books and the strange patterns and
Beautiful thoughts are the shades of those spirits
That came ere you were come. The words that you
Do weave are a bond between you and your brothers.
The conclusions, grievous and joyous, are the
Seeds that the past did scatter in the field of the
Spirit to be reaped by the future. That youth who
Plays with your desires is he who will open the door
Of your heart to let enter the light. This earth with
The ever open mouth is the savior of your spirit from
The body's slavery. This world which walks with
You is your heart; and your heart is all that you
Think that world. This creature whom you see as
Ignorant and small is the same who has come from
God's side to learn pity through sadness, and knowledge
By way of darkness.'
Then Wisdom put her hand on my burning brow
And said:
'Go then forward and do not tarry, for beforeWwalks Perfection. Go, and have not fear of thorns
On the path, for they deem naught lawful save Corrupted blood.'
Khalil Gibran
The day I realised I had HIV
After the meal my stomach began to hurt. Thinking it was just diarrhoea it was not a bother but it did hurt. After about an hour of vomiting, that pains got worst and worst. My cousins boyfriend went to the shop to get some medicine to help. While he was gone I had gone on myself, I could not help it. The pain was crippling and I could not walk nor could I speak. I fell to the floor and could not move. Thinking all this was down to dodgy meal I was wrong. yes, it is short but I believe that was the moment my HIV took on it’s life to be apart of me.
It is amazing how we just assume the problem is not worst than it is. I would always recommend getting check ups. Looking back at the way my life was back then, I took my vitamins to keep me health but never thought about how much I was putting myself at risk. I just look at this as a second chance to grab life by the horns. I still do not know when I will die but yes it is a certainty, I will live it happily.
Finding a purpose
The purpose of this blog is for hope. I simply want to add a little sunshine to your life. You are probably newly diagnosed or a veteran (laugh out loud). It does not matter what matters to me is peace. I firmly believe that we all need to find our peace. Yes having HIV does not help your health but if you look deeper it can help your mind. For me having HIV has change my complete outlook on life. I no long depend on living my life in one dimension(go to work, party, home).
I was watching the finale of lost the other day an found great meaning in it. I learned that you cannot hold on to things and how they could have been and how they should be. Try to let go of all the pains and anger and then life will take it’s course and unfold like a flower. There is power in letting go.
Those who are newly diagnosed may not want to hear about the future as this does not seem to matter. Before I found out I was HIV positive, I was very unhappy and had no purpose in life. I seem to have changed my out look now I am looking forward to living my life as a good human being and fulfilling my life. We do not know where we go when we die, but I sure want to make sure I take positivity with me.
I want you to know that you are an angel in your own right. That right is to make positive steps in your life to finding happiness. I don’t mean to sound like a self help book, but when you are ready you will see the meaning in my words.
Living with HIV in a sense depending on how you live your life. You may have two sides to you (hiding your HIV from the world) or you wear your status on your sleeve. whatever you do is your choice.
Yes we all know the prejudice. People may not even want to know the story behind your HIV but what is important is how you feel about yourself when you look in the mirror. I am sure there is someone out there that does not like you for some reason, you can’t please everyone. I would like to say life is about movement and taking steps. Small steps are the best way to go as they build up into something special. Special in the sense that you do not rush, you make these steps then you realise you have completed a whole project.
The only way you can find peace is listening to yourself. Only you can tell you what you need to know and learn, just listen.
The Story of Blood Electrification ©
By Ken Adachi <Editor>
http://educate-yourself.org/be/index.shtml
January 2000
Update!November 18, 2006: **Important 1996 Lab Report from Kaali & Lyman Detailing the Deactivation of HIV/AIDS Virus with minute Direct Electrical Currents --Seen for the first time on the internet**
Biocompatible Electric Current Attentuates HIV Infectivity (Nov. 18, 2006)
http://educate-yourself.org/cn/LymanKaalibiocompatibleHIV1996report18nov06.shtml
The Discovery
In the Fall of 1990, two medical researchers, Drs.William Lyman and Steven Kaali, working at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York City made an important discovery. They found that they could inactivate the HIV virus by applying a low voltage direct current electrical potential with an extremely small current flow to AIDS infected blood in a test tube. Initially, they discovered this in the lab by inserting two platinum electrodes into a glass tube filled with HIV-1 (type 1) infected blood. They applied a direct current to the electrodes and found that a current flow in the range of 50-100 microamperes (uA) produced the most effective results. Practically all of the HIV viral particles were adversely affected while normal blood cells remained unharmed. The viral particles were not directly destroyed by the electric current, but rather the outer protein coating of the virus was affected in such a way as to prevent the virus from producing reverse transcriptase, a necessary enzyme needed by the virus to invade human cells. Reverse transcriptase allows the virus to enter a human T cell line (called CEM-SS) and commandeer the DNA reproduction machinery. After using the host cell to reproduce itself into thousands of new virii, the swollen host cell (now called syncytia or giant cell) will burst and spew the contents into the bloodstream or lymph system. This is how the virus spreads, but lacking reverse transcriptase, the HIV virus can't invade the host cell and it becomes vulnerable to destruction by the body's immune system. (The details of this experiment can be read from Kaali's patent application.)
Getting the Word Out?
A brief announcement of this discovery appeared in The Houston Post (Mar 20, 1991), then in Science News (Mar. 30, 1991 pg. 207) and later in Longevitymagazine: (Dec.1992 pg. 14). Following their work in the Fall of 1990, Kaali and Lyman presented their findings at the First International Symposium on Combination Therapies (an AIDS conference) in Washington DC on March 14th, 1991. Kaali outlined two methods for treating an AIDS patient with this new therapy: One method involved removing a small amount of blood, electrifying it and then returning it to the patient's body. The second method involved sewing a miniature electrifying power supply along with two tiny electrodes directly into the lumen of an artery. For long term treatment, the mini electrifying unit needed to be removed and relocated to a new artery site after 30-45 days since scar tissue and calcification forming around the implant unit would lead to artery blockage. Kaali (along with co-inventorPeter Schwolsky) filed for a patent on this implantable electrifying device on Nov 16, 1990 and nine months later was granted patent #5,139,684 on August 18, 1992. It's interesting to note two things here:
1. In order to obtain a patent from the United States Patent Office, Kaali and Schwolsky had to prove that the device works as claimed. Lacking solid proof, US patents are simply not granted.
2. Very often it takes years to obtain a patent, yet this patent was granted in only nine months; a further indication to me of the strength of their demonstrated claims
It's also interesting to note that other than the 3 publications mentioned above and the March '91 AIDS conference, nothing again appeared in print, radio, or TV about this important discovery as a potential treatment and cure for AIDS from Kaali and company. Most knowledgeable observers feel that Kaali and Lyman's discovery was intentionally suppressed following the March '91 AIDS conference presentation. If AIDS research was on the level and not the sham that it actually is, this should have made front page news around the world. (Around 1999, I was contacted by a woman with AIDS who had managed to reach Dr. William Lyman over the phone. She asked him about his experiments with Kaali regarding blood electrification and if she could obtain the treatment through them. Lyman denied any knowledge of any AIDS treatment or cure. He said he never heard of Dr. Kaali and he had no idea what she was talking about concerning blood electrification and then hung up on her. What does that tell about the power of the people behind the suppression of this discovery?)
Enter Dr Bob Beck
A man named Walter Schnitder drew Dr Robert C. Beck'sattention to the above-mentioned item in Science News. Beck looked up the patent and decided to try and duplicate the therapy, but he wanted to do it non-invasively; that is by applying the electric current from outside the body. Now if you apply a direct current (DC) potential to the skin, you're going to get an electrolysis effect and that can cause problems, so Beck designed a circuit that varied the voltage with an alternating current (AC) at a very low frequency and avoided the electrolysis problem. The waveform that Beck chose is not the typical sine wave seen in AC household outlets, but rather is a bi-phasic square wave, meaning that the waveform voltage has a positive half and a negative half, allowing the current to reverse direction each half cycle. Square waves generate a large number of harmonics. Harmonics are frequency multiples of the original frequency. Odd harmonics are mutibles of the original frequency multiplied by 3, 5, 7 etc. and even harmonics are multibles of 2. For example, the odd harmonics of a 4 Hertz (Hz) square wave would be 12 Hz , 20 Hz, 28 Hz, etc. right up into the radio frequency range.
Georges Lakhovsky, Nikola Tesla and many other scientists had discovered that everything in Nature has its own resonant frequency including every bacteria, virus, parasite, and fungus on the planet. Dr. Royal Rife was able to cure terminal, end stage cancers in the 1930's by applying the specific resonant frequencies of certain unique bacteria that are always assocaited wtih all types of cancers. The steady application of the bacteria's resonant frequency by plasma wave radiation caused the bacteria to internally shatter and eviscerate, thus destroying it (and all the other bacteria within the body that possessed the same resonant frequency) .
While Kaali and Lyman used DC current to deactivate the AIDS virus, Beck found that he could get he same results using the 3.92HZ square wave. Kaali and Lyman found that the amount of the current applied was the critcal factor and if they kept the current within a range of 50-100 micro amperes- they were able to disable the HIV virus within a petri dish as mentioned above. Kaali then worked out a design of a small battery with two tiny electrodes that could be sewn directly into an artery in the arm or leg. By maintaining the current flow between the two electrodes within the 50-100 micro ampere range, the HIV particles were gradually disabled within the bloodstream and the AIDS victim would gradually recover his health. The procedure required surgery that costs about $5,000 (at that time). The implanted electrodes would cause scarring of the artery walls, so they had to be removed and implanted in a new section of an artery every month or so, costing another $5,000 each time the procedure was done. It took about 6 or 7 months to see a substantial improvement in the AIDS patient.
Beck studied Kaali's patent and tried applying the electrodes to the skin directly over those arteries that were close enough to the skin surface. The 50-100 micro ampere current could be created within the artery by electromagnetic induction allowing the entire therapy to be applied externally, without the need for implanting electrodes into the arteries. The device he put together to accomplish this is today called a blood electrifier.
Beck started by applying his blood electrifier to himself. He originally placed the electrodes over leg arteries near the ankles of either leg, then changed the location to two different spots on the arm, and finally found that it worked just as well if he placed the two electrodes near each other over the ulnar and radial arteries just behind the wrist. To find the correct location in order to center the electrodes exactly over the artieries, Bob recommends carefully feeling for the pulse of either artery and marking the path of the artery with a ball point pen. You can then memorize the correct location and align the electrodes over the artery path precisely and hold them in place with a stretchy wrist band that's held together with velcro.
Beck Breakfast Group
Bob Beck has been giving talks for many, many years on a variety of topics from Tesla to psychotronics. I first heard him in 1994 on an after-midnight radio show out of Los Angeles called "Something's Happening" with Roy of Hollywood ( KPFK, 90.7 FM). Bob was getting ready to give a talk at the Pasadena Health Expo that upcoming weekend and proceeded to explain to Roy what he had discovered with blood electrification. I was amazed and blown away by what he told Roy. I had to learn more, so I made it my business to be at that convention and attend Bob's talk.
To Be Continued...
The first time I found out about my HIV
The end of innocence
It was Easter 2009, the nurse called and said she found nothing wrong with me internally. Then she moved on to say that they did find the presence of HIV in my blood. I could have just died on the spot. I was at my best friends house when they called. I was just there sitting at her computer looking at random things to pass the time, as she cooked. I asked the nurse if she was joking, if maybe they got it wrong and was pulling my leg. Obviously this is a professional person on the phone here, I thought to my self. How could she have possibly gotten it wrong. I continued to cry while she was giving me the news. She then asked me to come down to the clinic right away. I hung up the phone and called my friend while crying and asked her to come along with me, I explained to her I had just found out I have HIV.
The beginning of the end of innocence
The week before the Easter holidays, I went to visit my best friend. She asked me to be her company to go to the women's clinic to get a check up. Of course there was nothing to worry about… as I thought I had been safe with my sexual encounters, considering there was so few. And when I chose sleeping partners I chose close friends not random strangers. Back to the story at hand, my friend suggested I got test too, I had no objections as I thought I was a ok. My friends’ appointment was before mine so I had a long wait, sitting there just reading the magazines the staff had put out. Nothing of consequence ran through my mind, just humming to myself. Finally it was my turn. I went in to give my blood for the test, then the nurse told me I would have to wait a week. There was no problem what so ever still humming to myself.
Continuation of the end of innocence
After the call we went to the clinic where I spoke to the doctor. He told me that having HIV is similar to having diabetes. At that time I did not think about that comment but now it is comforting to me. He explained how I could live a normal life but just with this extension (gift). He spoke and spoke but I really could not hear to be honest. At one point in time I started looking around to see who he was talking to, this is no joke! It was all so hard to process. My friend was sitting there in the office crying her eyes out along with me. I am a strong person so I tried not to cry in front of them to show weakness. I did not want to seem weak hearted, but tears are normal.
After leaving the clinic I had a rush come over me. I decide right there and then that I needed to have a baby. Need to leave something as a reminder of me being here. Many things ran through my head. There was so much contemplation about the mortality of life. I thought about boyfriends and how I could possibly have a normal relationship.
The day I found out was also my sister’s birthday, it was hard for me to do but I called her straight away. We had gotten into an argument the week before and were not on good terms. I remember leaving her house after our disagreement, sitting on the bus and a thought ran across my mind. The thought was about being ill, I thought “it’s amazing if I found out I had cancer and told her she would treat me differently”. They really say be careful what you wish for, though I did not consciously wish that on myself. And then, I just happened to have an illness. It shows that sometimes a random thought can have some truth in it. My sister cried and cried on the phone and weeks after that. She did tell me that was the worst news ever.
The realisation of hope and optimism
I did not see it at the time that I would grow to have hope and be optimistic about living. I realised that day that the order in which things happen, really do happen for a reason. If my friend had not asked me to accompany her to the clinic, I most likely would not have gone as I thought I was not in danger. And it all happened at the perfect time too. I just want to say to everyone believe in yourself and what you can accomplish. The universe/god could throw many things at you but you have to be like the fern plant resilient and ever hopeful of new things. Please remember that this is not the end of you and as we all share our stories we will grow as people.
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